A Boundaries Toolkit for Messy Reality
Why me, why you, why now
You may have heard whispers — or maybe you’ve seen the title sneak into my LinkedIn posts and newsletters — but yes, I’m writing a book! It's called A Boundaries Toolkit for Messy Reality, and just like it says on the tin, it’s a guide to help navigate life when it’s all a bit much.
Because let’s be honest — most of us aren’t setting boundaries from a mountain top sipping green juice. We’re doing it knee-deep in what I call messy reality.
That’s the juggle of roles, relationships, responsibilities, and expectations that make up real life. The bits that bring joy and stress and pain. The moments we care too much and give too much and then wonder why we feel burnt out, guilty, or vaguely resentful — and explains why we answer a WhatsApp at 11pm, then immediately regret it! That’s without factoring in 21st century 24/7 noise, AI and polarisation.
So yes — messy is the perfect word for it.
Why me?
This book was born from three well-worn hats I wear (and talk about a lot): my Professional hat, my Giving hat, and my Mum hat. Each has taught me its own lessons about boundaries — the good, the bad, and the grey-haired.
- As a learning and development professional with over 30 years in various workplaces and settings, I’ve seen how roles, responsibilities, and leadership can help or hinder our wellbeing.
- As a long-time Giver, including as a support group volunteer and trustee in the mental health space, I’ve seen what happens when boundaries aren’t respected — organisationally or personally.
- And as a mum having navigated the teenage years (survival = achievement), I’ve learned the hard way what it means to hold boundaries with love, and how bloody hard that can be.
This book is part reflection, part toolkit, and part encouragement. It’s my way of sharing what I’ve learned — not because I’ve got it all figured out (has anyone?), but because boundaries are one of the most underrated skills for protecting our mental health and showing up in life without losing ourselves.
Why you?
Well… how are your boundaries doing?
If your answer is “actually, pretty good thanks,” then fantastic — maybe you’ll find something here to help support others or simply nod along. But if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, under-resourced, or like the word “boundaries” sounds nice but impossible — this book is for you.
Whether you're navigating work stress, family demands, volunteering roles, or just trying to stay sane in a noisy world, I’ve written this for the doers, givers, and quiet strugglers. The people who are brilliant at looking after others and not so great at looking after themselves.
Sound familiar?
What the book isn’t:
No magic wand, no guru talk, and no ‘one-size fits all’ advice. This book doesn’t replace therapy or specialist help — it’s a support in your toolkit, not the whole toolbox. And it definitely won’t tell you to be perfect or fix your whole life by Tuesday.
What it is:
A relatable, honest, user-friendly guide to navigating boundaries in real life — with small steps, messy learning, and permission to scribble in the margins (or anywhere). It’s full of personal stories, practical tools, and thoughtful prompts to help you make sense of what boundaries mean for you.
We’ll explore:
- The myths that trip us up and keep us stuck
- Why fear (aka the Big Boundary Baddy) makes it so hard
- The Goldilocks approach to finding “just right”
- Workplace mental health, hats and traps, and how to avoid boundary burnout
- Tools to help you set, communicate, and maintain your boundaries — with compassion for others and importantly yourself
Why now?
Because our modern lives are getting louder, faster, and more complex. Mental health awareness is (thankfully) more visible than ever, but the boundaries piece still feels like the missing link. I’ve been talking about this for over 8 years on Linkedin and in my Boundaries Blog Collection and Workplace Mental Health blog series, and now I’m bringing it all together in one place.
When’s the book out? I’m aiming for a summer 2025 release, it’s still in progress and I’ll be sharing updates along the way, including discovering needing boundaries when writing about boundaries (who knew?)! If you’re a fan of honest reflections, practical ideas, and occasional porridge and other fun metaphors, then keep an eye out.
You’ve already seen the cover at the top — proud moment! I hope it gives you a sense of what’s inside: A good dose of reality and humour along with calm, clarity, and a bit of courage for the journey ahead.
If you’ve ever said yes when you meant no, worried that setting boundaries would make you seem unkind, or just need a bit of breathing space in the chaos — this book is for you.
Thank you for being here — and for being part of this messy, meaningful, very human journey with me.
More soon,
Emma
